


A Blocky Love

by sugargummy



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Shrek (Movies)
Genre: Angst, I'm so sorry, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sorry again, is this technically death, nose porn, onion - Freeform, shrek does aftercare, sorry no accent, swamp, switch!shrek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:07:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugargummy/pseuds/sugargummy
Summary: To any other outsider, it may seem like a moment of luck, but to Shrek, it was fate.Or, a stranger wanders into his swamp.
Relationships: Shrek (Shrek)/Villager (Minecraft), Shrek/Villager
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	A Blocky Love

Something felt off. Shrek had done his usual duties around his swamp, some of which just consisted of him lying down, staring up at the sky. On days like these, he liked the feeling of having time, all the time of the day, to just think.

  
On this particular evening, the sun was beginning to set, and the sky was a beautiful gray, just like any other foggy day in the swamp. Shrek began to slowly trek back into his house, ready for a good night’s sleep, when he heard a splash.  
He whipped his head around.

  
“Who’s in my swamp?” He called out into the dark, but the only response he got was yet another round of splashing. Shrek took a second to think. He was positive he cleared his turf before calling it a night, and usually no one dared to bother his sleep. Maybe it was Donkey? But that’s impossible, Donkey would always inform him ahead of time. So who, or rather, what was that?

  
Shrek took his torch and slowly followed the splashes. He didn’t bring any weapons, for his strong-built body would serve as a great attack and defense.  
“Hello?” he called out again. “Who’s there?” More splashes, and then a gurgled sound.

  
“Hurrgh!”

  
Shrek ran towards the waters. He could see ripples and air bubbles coming out from the murky liquid. He quickly stuck his arm in and latched on to the first thing he could grab. He felt something blocky, and pulled it out.

  
A censorship? Weird cubes? An unfinished character that the director/animators didn’t have time to finish? No… it was a man. He seemed unfazed by the fact that he almost drowned. But Shrek was mesmerized. He stared at this beautiful man, glimmering in the light of his torch. Shrek fell in love at first sight; the man’s beautiful brown skin shone like the sun, despite it being dark now.

  
“Hurrgh hurrgh hurrgh hurrgh hurrgh,” the man spoke out of his beautiful mouth. Shrek stared at his lips when he spoke such intelligent words. Nothing sounded more like melted chocolate than his voice.

  
“Come home with me, I’ll dry you up.” Shrek held his hand out, but the man’s arms stayed put in front of him. An independent man, that’s exactly Shrek’s type. His lower part felt hot. This was not good for his control, but he couldn’t just let anyone go off in the dark, especially if they were wet. Surprisingly, the man followed him into the warmth of Shrek’s home.

  
Inside was warm, the yellow light occasionally flickering, creating a pleasant atmosphere. Shrek sat the man down on his bed, and began wiping his body with a towel. He had to breathe in deep a few times to keep his excitement down. When he was done, he quickly stepped back, and tugged his shirt down a bit lower, to hide his hardened member.

  
“Hurrgh,” the man said, and from out of nowhere he handed Shrek an object in his hand.

  
“What’s this?” Shrek stared at the colored cube in the man’s hand, and then reached out. It felt almost familiar in Shrek’s hands, and suddenly, he felt an urge to take a bite out of it. He chomped down.

  
Shrek let out a roar, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. This… this was the most delicious onion that he has ever tasted.

  
“This onion, it’s delicious!” Shrek’s eyes sparkled. “This is all mine to eat?”

  
“Hurrgh.”

  
“No, no, you have a bite too.” Shrek stuck the onion into the man’s mouth.

  
“Hurrgh,” the man gagged. From Shrek’s force, the man fell back onto the bed. Shrek stood over him, and licked his lips.

  
“I can’t hold back anymore,” Shrek half-moaned. He leaned down, his knees slotted on both sides of the man, and his elbows rested on both sides of his head. “You’re so fucking hot. When you came out of the swamp, I almost came instantly from just the mere sight of you.”

  
The man couldn’t speak, the onion was his gag. Shrek removed the onion for a second.

  
“What would you like me to call you?”

  
“Hurrgh,” the man panted out.

  
“Minecraft villager,” Shrek rolled his name around his tongue, and stuck the onion back into his mouth. “I’ll call you villager.”

  
In a swift motion, Shrek ripped apart the man’s clothes, and his own. He was already so hard, his green throbbing cock was in dire need of some heat. He stared down at the naked man’s body and smirked.

  
No words were needed. Shrek began to kiss his face, his neck, and his body. His hand snuck down to the man’s tip and began to rub his big thumb on the head of his penis.

  
“You’re already so wet for me?” Shrek wasn’t used to feeling a block of warm flesh in his hands, but it was sexy still. The man moaned. Shrek stared into his green eyes, and took another bite from the onion that was being used to gag the man. He let out a delicious groan, and began sucking on the man’s thick, long nose. Bits on onions fell out and onto the man’s face, but they were both enjoying the sensations that it didn’t bother either party.

“I want your fat nose in me right now,” Shrek breathed into the man’s ear. He moved up until his hole was right on top of the man’s face. And slowly, he inserted the man’s nose into his slick hole.

  
Shrek deeply moaned, How could a block of flesh feel so good? Each corner was hitting his nerves like nothing ever had before. The man began breathing through his nose, since his mouth was being obstructed. The airflow Shrek felt inside was amazing.

  
“Yes, yes!” Shrek screamed out. He was moving up and down, trying to get more friction inside his deep hole, when he felt something hot deep in his stomach. Suddenly he stopped, and pulled off of the man’s nose.

  
“No, I can’t finish like this,” he moved his hand down to the man’s neglected member. “You’re still so hard, we can’t have that, can we villager?” Shrek licked the juices off his nose, and removed the onion to eat it, before shuffling down. He lifted the man’s blocky ass, and with no warning, rammed his hardened cock inside the man’s hole.

  
“Hurrgh!” the man screamed in pleasure. “Hurrgh!”

  
Shrek couldn’t stop his own moans from rippling out of his throat. He began thrusting, offering no rest for the man. Faster, harder, Shrek continued, as he thought of the man’s glistening wet body in the swamp, and the way his nose felt inside of him. He gripped the man’s waist harder, sure to leave bruises in the morning. He felt the heat again, and he couldn’t dare hold back now.

  
The man began to twitch and his hole tightened around Shrek’s cock.

  
“Hurrgh, hurrgh! Hurrgh!” The man screamed and thrashed in pleasure, and hot white cum squirted from his block cock. While Shrek was still pushing against his walls, he flinched from the overstimulation.

  
“Yes, nhgg,” Shrek began to feel himself cum. “Yes, yes! Villager, villager villager!” He moaned out as he felt himself shootout a bucket full of cum into the man’s hole. He came so much that it began to spill out of the man’s hole, and when Shrek pulled out, it came spilling out, and mixing in with the man’s own cum. The man stayed still on the bed, and Shrek gave him a peck on the forehead.

  
“You did so good, my love. Rest, and I will clean you up.” Shrek went to get a cloth to wipe up the man, but when he came back from the bathroom, he was gone, only left with a pile of cum on the bed.

  
Shrek was devastated, and spent the rest of his life trying to find the man again.

  
“Huh,” Shrek thought out loud, months after he spent the night with the man, “I wonder when and where the villager will spawn again next time, but I will find him.”

  
The sun set, and he got ready for another lonely night in.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so sorry, I don’t want to watch my lecture videos… don’t be a math major, kids… Also I was going to give Shrek an obvious Scottish accent, but I got things to do, and also I'm lazy and didn't want to reread this horror. This isn't no Sakuatsu, but it will do...  
> I did do some research, mainly on how the villager looked like (and how to translate his noise to text), because it's been like years since I've played Minecraft. He got a long shlong for a nose. Anyways, Shrek is good.


End file.
